“In an ideal world, children outlive their parents ”. These words are among the first you will see on Anam Cara’s website. How true they are. We do not live in an ideal world, however. If we did, there would be no need for us to gather here this evening to launch this new venture to support bereaved parents and siblings.
As fathers and mothers, we know the strong bonds which exist between parents and their child and the love and the great hopes they have for them. With that bond come expectations of a long and healthy and happy life for their offspring. Sadly, for some parents, those expectations are cruelly disappointed. With the death of a son or a daughter, a bright light is extinguished in their lives.
This is one of the greatest of human tragedies. It is unthinkable for most of us. But it happens all the same and those who experience it have, somehow, to find the strength to carry on with their journey through life, while keeping alive the memory of their children.
Anam Cara is a voluntary group of bereaved parents who have come together to offer a support service to other bereaved families throughout Ireland. It is a very welcome new resource for parents and siblings. The fact that all those involved have suffered loss themselves is a particular strength. Every loss is, of course, unique. But it must to be a comfort to know that you are not alone and that you can talk to someone who has also had to contend with the death of their child and who knows what you are going through.
Some of you here tonight will have heard the heart-rending stories of Sharon Vard and Anna McGroddy, as told to Ryan Tubridy on radio yesterday and the further personal testimonies on Morning Ireland this morning. It is a great tribute to all those involved in Anam Cara - and to their courage and humanity - that they have found in themselves the strength to reach out to other bereaved families.
The underlying ethos of Anam Cara is that life is precious. And the work of its members brings home to us what life, at its best, is all about. It is about love. It is about helping each other. It is about looking out for each other. It is about care, support and compassion. It is about having time for others, about listening to others, about having empathy for others. These are the greatest gifts we can give to other human beings. And this is what Anam Cara is all about. It is indeed a great honour to be with you here this evening to express support for your initiative.
Anam Cara, Irish for "soul friend", is a very well chosen name. And as the great Irish poet and philosopher, John O'Donoghue - who, sadly, passed away last month - wrote: " Anam Cara's understand where you are coming from and understanding is precious; where you are understood you are at home."
Anam Cara provides a very comprehensive range of services to bereaved families. They include a website; self-help suggestions from other bereaved families; opportunities to talk with other families; local meetings; social events; practical information; links to professional bodies and other support agencies; and opportunities to pay tribute to your child and to celebrate the life of your child.
The services are available to any parent or guardian whose child has died, regardless of the age of the child or when the loss occurred. And they are available nationwide. Anam Cara has been operating since February 2006 and families currently involved come from Donegal, Cork, Tipperary, Mayo, Galway, Louth, Laois, Antrim, Dublin and Meath.
All in all, this is a very well-thought out initiative. And very importantly, it is grounded in the recognition that everyone copes and survives in different ways. There is no question of trying to impose on people or to tell them how they should feel or what they should do: the whole emphasis is on offering support and a positive, safe space to those who need it.
I have no doubt that, as Anam Cara spreads its wings, it will do enormous good in helping to ease the burden of grief and loss for many more people around the country and to help in the vital process of healing. I commend everyone involved in developing this excellent initiative. The work of Anam Cara is indeed a remarkable tribute to the lives of your children. I wish you every success in your mission to bring comfort, succour, hope and encouragement to others. And, in closing, may I wish everyone involved the very best with your own personal journeys. Thank you very much for your attention.
ENDS